The Journey of Life

When I started out on the journey of the last two years, I was imprisoned in a small town of southern Wisconsin, entitled Sparta. During the summer the freshly cut grass smells as sweet as Canadian honey. When walking throughout down town, you can here the sound of children playing on the sidewalk, their laughter as a melody to your ears. When you continue down the street you can smell the perfume of the family grill, and by looking closely enough, you can see the city workers through the window, on their lunch break, visiting and laughing, as if everything in the world is as perfect as the symmetrical wings of a Californian butterfly. 

 In the time that I spent in this cessation, I realized that nothing really happens in the small town of Sparta Wisconsin. The days go by about as quickly as a slow moving tractor on the interstate. In times if grief and turmoil, the town comes together as a family, and use one another as a foundation to hold each other up. And when it comes time to celebrate, no one misses out. 

 Every summer on the fourth weekend in June, there is a big celebration called Butterfest.  In the weeks leading up to the festival, you can almost taste the anticipation in the air. Everywhere that you go you will see signs and banners advertising the bash, although it is common knowledge to all who abide in this metropolis. If one does not know of this specific celebration, then it is quite obvious that they are about as foreign as a penguin in Africa. 

 On a quiet fall day, you can hear the trickling of water in the small creek that runs through the town. When it rains it sounds as if the Mississippi River is mightily clapping her hands in applause to the fish whom just narrowly escaped it's predator. You can sometimes see the grumpy old man, red as a blazing flame, hollering as loudly as a lightning bolt at the children as they cut through his yard after school. His threats are as empty as grandmas cookie jar, for deep down, he is as soft as freshly baked bread. 

 Although this stop was but a small break in the journey that I call my life, the experience of the standstill was as magnificent as the Northern Lights. Some would rather take the easy, smooth highway; but as for me- I have taken the road less traveled, because just down that road, right off of exit 25, is that town that has shaped me into the person that I must be, in order to complete the rest of my journey.

When I finally began to lift my feet, and continue on, it hurt more then stepping on a rusty nail. But I realized that all things must eventually come to an end; and I have the choice to make it a sweet end, or a bitter end. Although I miss the beautiful small town, that I believe will always be my home, I also realize that my  life is a journey, and the adventure will continue until I have taken my last breath. 

 So I will take heart, and never forget that my steps are being guided cautiously by someone who will never fail me, nor lead me anywhere that I cannot survive. So as I am falling asleep, I know that I am blessed to be falling asleep in a warm bed, and grateful to know that my future is already set up, and has already been planned. All I have to do is be willing to follow the plan that my great God has given me, no matter how scary and dreadful it may seem, because my God has got it under control. 

Unshakeable

Okay. So this is going to be incredibly informal. Just a warning.... Now where do I start... I haven't written in so long.

Let's start with... 4 and a half years ago- I moved 1800 miles, with my family, when I was 12. All the way from Canada we made the trek to Sparta Wisconsin because God called us down here. I was upset to be leaving, obviously. But I was little(er) and got over it quite quickly. I've always thought that I would always be here. Forever. I had big plans- graduate high school, go to college, be roomies with my best friend, and eventually get married. I was never going to leave. I have the greatest friends in my life, the best church ever, an amazing pastor and wonderful church family that I love,oh so much. Why would I want to leave?

I don't. When my parents told me that we were moving back, I wasn't sad, I wasn't scared for the future, I was downright angry. I hated the idea. I hated (for lack of a better word- although I didn't hate them) my parents for even having such a (what seemed to me) such a God-forsaken-plan. Why would they do this to me? I didn't understand. 

But now I do. I can't say I understand all of it. I don't. But I understand that my parents are spirit filled, God-fearing people. They would never, ever, take me, and my brothers into a battle that they don't know for sure we will win. And I know that God wouldn't take us into the desert without planning on supplying us with water. He isn't going to let his children, that are so ready, and obedient to do his word, run dry.

I also know that in Jeremiah 29:11, the verse I base this entire blog on, says that God has plans for me, he knows those plans, and they ARE good plans. I do have a hopeful future. I also know that in Joshua 1:9, which is the verse that me and best friend chose as our verse, it says "Strength! Courage! Don't be timid. Don't get discouraged. God; YOUR God, is with you every step you take". God IS with me. And he WILL be with me- even in Canada. ;) 

I'm going to have a good life, whether its here, in Canada, or in some other big named, unpronounceable country that's so small no one knows that it exists.

I'm not saying I won't, or don't, have my moments, I do, and will probably continue to for awhile, break down and cry, just because it still hurts to be leaving in 7 weeks. But when I do fall, I will always get back up, because I have a God who is willing, and able to come to my rescue, if I only ask for help. 

Shakin' Things Up

About a year ago, Reverend Tim Storey, a Hollywood minister/counselor, who counsels celebrities such as Robert Downey Jr., Brittany Spears, etc. came to my church as a guest minister. He is an amazing man if God and the services that I went to that he taught at were life changing. At the fourth one of the weekend, on a Sunday evening, towards the close of the service, he was speaking healing/prophesies over people. He called anyone who had been suffering with severe headaches to go up, and be prayed for. I've always gotten bad headaches so my friend encouraged me to go up. Funny thing is, he didn't pray for my headaches. As I was walking up, he said "Woman of God. World shaker. You're going to have a great life.". He layed his hands on me, and didn't say anything else. That is probably the most impacting night I've ever had. Maybe that I ever will have. I got home that night, and I wrote "I am I world shaker and I am going to have a GREAT life" on a sticky note and stuck it to my mirror. Everything I feel uncertain about my future, or who I am, or what I'm suppose to do. Every time someone puts me down, it makes me feel like crap, I try to remind myself about that prophesy. It doesn't matter what anyone else says, or how I think of myself; God has already laid out my further for me, and all I have to do is go with it. I had given up for awhile. I thought... "whats the point in trying anymore?". Until i realized that the struggles I go through now are just here to build me, prepare me, and make me strong enough to shake this world and everything in it. 

"For I know that plans I have for you'," says The Lord, "plans for good and not evil, to give you a future and a hope."

-Jeremiah 29:11

2 cents worth? Sure!

So, I have been sick with the flu since Sunday. Fever of 101.8, sore throat, the shivers.. You get the picture. It can be frustrating being sick like this, and feeling so weak, especially when you're me, and hate sitting still. :)
So tonight, instead of sitting in my butt, and watching Doctor Who, I put on pandora's praise and worship station, I just started singing along, and even though it hurts for me to talk right now, I was able to sing perfectly fine. (God is awesome)
I got overwhelmed by his presence, I lifted my hands, and just started worshiping. It was so cool. Mr. Trailer always says "You don't have to have a worship team, live music, and other people, to worship." And tonight I finally decided to actually try it. (I have worshiped alone before, but never to this extreme.)
Moral(s) of my story.
1- You can worship God, and feel his presence anywhere.
2- Listen to your youth leaders right away, they know what they are talking about. ;)

It was really nice to just put my phone on silent, and ignore everything, and just focus all my attention on my savior.

Mm and I have a great testimony. I am starting to go to a public school, in less then a week, and my parents were hesitant at first, I told them "I want to be a missionary, and I know I'm young, but why am I sitting at home everyday, and my social life is basically church, when I could be out there, as a teenager, binging other teen to church, and youth group. Why can't I make school my mission field?"
Then contemplated it for awhile, and gave in.
Before they had come to a decision, I met this girl and a HOMESCHOOL basketball game. She went to my CC coaches, church. I found out that as also went to Sparta, and I got excited. (Just in case I ended up going there)
Last week, I went to a Sparta wrestling meet with her, and she told me about the FCA (Fellowship for Christian Athletes. So I went with her on Friday, and got to meet a bunch of other Christian teenagers from my school.
I am SO excited that everything is just falling into place, with this whole school thing.

Don't get discouraged with everyday life, as a Christian teen. I know I have never gone to school before, but taking the classes at the high school last semester, really opened my eyes to how hard it can be to stand out in a dark world.
You are not alone! And we can do this!

#my2centsworth

Just a rose. Just a person. Just walk away.

Think of a rose.
Beautiful, perfect, absolutely flawless.
But be careful. Don't get to close.
It has thorns. They will reach out, and prick you. It will reveal to you it's imperfections, after you've gotten close enough to touch it. It will feel like a shard if glass, a rusty knife, stabbing into you. Gliding down your arm, causing a crimson flow.
In the same way a rose shows complete perfection, so can an individual. Calling you. Tempting you. Come closer, closer. They will toy with your emotions, and then one day, they show you the scars. The darkness.
Slamming cold reality in your face. You want to help them get better, because you love them to much to see them suffer, so you keep going back.
Being pricked so many times has left you with scars if your own.

Just like a rose, a person can tear you to pieces, and you don't even see the danger in getting close to them, until your touching.

Be cautious of who you let yourself get close to. It will cause you so much heartache if you jump into relationships/friendships, before you know the truth. Sometimes it's meant to be. Sometimes you were suppose to be there, to get close. Sometimes you're suppose to help someone with problems, get better. But remember, if they aren't willing to receive your help, you are wasting your time. Sometimes you need to just step back, and give them time. Don't let yourself be constantly hurt by someone you love, just realize that you need to deal with yourself, and they need to deal with themselves. But never quit encouraging each other.

And hey, sometimes, if you love someone, you will let them go. But never give up on them.